Jealousy and Lies
by Muff21
Summary: Cordelia realizes that she may have lost her chance with Angel as another woman enters his life.


Title: **Jealousy and Lies**  
Rating: PG-13 ( due to some mild swearing and sexual content)   
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.  
Notes: This is in response to Boyslayers challenge. In this fic, Darla came back but Angel never had sex with her. Wesley didnt fit into the fic so he's not here, neither is Groo.  
I really hope that you enjoy this, please read and rewiew! 

* * *

I am one sexy chic. Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I know I look good. My black leather pants cling perfectly to my curvaceous body, and my red halter-top shows just a little of my toned and muscular stomach. It shows enough to be sexy and not enough to be tasteless. My short dark hair curves elegantly around my circular face and it is illuminated by the blonde streaks that adorn it. My black boots add some height to my form and my legs appear longer and my waist slender. All in all I'd say I'm a 10.   
  
Bring!  
  
My admiration of myself is cut short by the doorbell. I walk through the entryway grabbing my purse off of the counter. I slip on my jacket, pausing at the mirror. I tousle my hair one more time and then turn to answer the door.   
  
" Wow, Cordelia you look great" Gunn compliments me his eyes growing wide.  
  
" Yeah Cordy! I love your outfit." Fred approaches me and engulfs me in a sisterly hug.  
  
" Thanks Fred, you too" I say admiring her deep blue tank top and fitting jeans.   
  
I notice Angel standing in the shadows just staring at me, a look of awe upon his face. I walk out the door and link my hand with his, swinging them back and forth trying to make conversation with Angel, while Fred and Gunn trail behind us.  
  
" So Angel, Dinner? Dancing?"  
  
" Sounds good to me" his voice comes out unusually hoarse. It reminds me of Xander when he was going through puberty. Real deep with a little squeak in it. I bite back a sarcastic comment but just smile at him and keep walking.   
  
***********  
  
" Cordelia! You know that Dawson's Creek is just fiction right? Joey and Dawson don't really exist" Angel corrects me, confusing my obsessivness about the show with insanity.  
  
' "Yes Angel of course I do, but its just not right. I mean the trivial experiences that those two go through are just ridiculous" I explain.  
  
" Compared to what, Barbie? Growing up on a hellmouth, having a witch, watcher and slayer as friends, and enduring pain filled visions of the future? Yeah, I'd say that Joey and Dawson's experiences are so trivial."   
  
Gunn drawls out his words making sure that I hear the sarcasm behind them. He leans back in his chair, a cocky grin exposed on his face. He remains silent, expecting a retort from me, which I am happy to deliver.   
  
" Gunn, you really need to watch TV more. The basis of those relationships are just...." I cut my words off as I notice that Angel isn't listening anymore.  
  
" Hey vampire best friend of mine? Anybody home?" I wave my hand in front of his face as he stares into the distance.  
  
" Huh? What?" Angel stares at us dumbfounded as he snaps out of whatever trance he was in.  
  
"What's wrong Angel? You look a little pale. Well more pale then usual since you always are pale since you don't go outside, but you're not always super pale, your kind of a nice pale, but now you're kind of a white pale. But not a bad white pale, just a paler color then normal."  
  
Fred's ramblings seem to bring Angel back to earth and causes Gunn and I to giggle. Fred looks at us sheepishly and takes a sip of her strawberry margarita, a red mustache lingering above her lips.   
  
" It's nothing guys. I just thought I saw someone that I knew a long time ago." Angel hesitantly answers our question, running his hand through his spiky hair.  
  
My curiosity gets the best of me and I ask him, " Whom?"  
  
He doesn't even look at me when he responds, " No one important."  
  
I can only stare at him confused as he sits there. He's acting weird and I don't know why. We're not currently on a case, Wolfram and Hart hasn't tried to kill him lately and we've been having fun. Fred, Gunn, Angel and I have been going out every night and bonding. Angel has done everything with us, drink, laugh and be merry. The only thing he won't do is dance. What could account for Angel's sudden change of attitude?  
  
" Oh my God! Angel!"   
  
My thoughts are broken by a shrill voice piercing the air. I lift my head to discover the source and I am shocked by what I see. An older woman of about 29 is practically mauling Angel. She's very pretty though. Her long blonde hair, falls in curls around her face, and her sweet sundress compliments her slender body and fair skin tone. Her arms are wrapped around his neck, and she keeps bouncing up and down, and strategically placing kisses on Angel's cheek. He doesn't seem to mind either. After a few seconds of this, they finally break apart. Angel's face is smeared with a rosy red lipstick and the girl's face is enchanted by a big, toothy smile. Angel keeps her at arm length and looks at her before saying,   
  
" Hello Lover"   
  
Oh my god! He used the Darla line; he actually used the Darla line!  
  
" Well, Angel. Care to introduce us?"   
  
I don't even realize the rude tone of my words until I feel a sharp kick on my ankle. I look across the table and receive a warning look from Fred.   
  
To my horror, Angel slips his arm around her waist and pulls her against him. She fits perfectly into his side. In fact, much to my chagrin, they match together like a puzzle.   
  
" This is Ava. She's my ex-girlfriend."  
  
As Angel makes his confession, three liquids fly across the table. Gunn's Corona, Fred's marguerite, and my Daiquiri. We all look at him and wipe at our mouths,   
  
" You cheated on Buffy!" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.  
  
Angel just looks at me while the girl shoots him a glare.  
  
" Who's Buffy?"  
  
" Just a girl."  
  
At these words, I am out of my seat so fast I could outrun a Tornado. Grabbing onto Angel's arm, I raise my voice to almost a scream.  
  
" Just a girl! I have not seen and listened to you mope and brood about Buffy for two years for nothing. She was your one true love, remember? Huh? Do you?'  
  
Angel replies in an embarrassing tone, " Cordelia, you're making a scene. Calm down. I dated Ava before I even met Buffy. He leans forward and whispers in my ear so that nobody can hear. " Be polite."  
  
I just stand there dumbstruck. He wants me to be polite? I'm his best friend. He is supposed to tell me everything. I never knew about this so called ex girlfriend. She's not that old, she seems young. Is she a demon?  
  
"Cordelia!" Angel's stern voice breaks me from my inner turmoil.   
  
" What?"  
  
The girl looks at me and calmly speaks, " No, I'm not a demon. I'm perfectly normal."  
  
Wait. How did she know? Oh no! I said that out loud. I said that out loud! Now Angel is shooting me a glare and Gunn's guffawing at me. Ugh, what do I do know?  
  
" Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that Angel has a track record with Demons."   
  
I lean in close and whisper to her, even though I know damn well that Angel can hear me.   
  
" Angel's a demon, did you know that? He likes blondes too. Always ends up feeding off them . It's really a pity."  
  
I chortle, ignoring the astounded looks that Gunn and Fred shoot me; Ava seems unfazed, while Angel looks quite deranged. That's not a good thing, is it?  
  
Gunn stands up, and shakes her hand, ending the conversation that I had started,  
  
" I'm sorry that some of our friends are being so rude. I'm Gunn and that gorgeous chic over there is my girlfriend Fred. Wanna chill with us?"   
  
" Sure! I'd love too." Ava pulls out a chair and smoothes down her feminine skirt before sitting down. She gives everyone a heartwarming smile, but it soon wavers as she settles on my icy stare.  
  
" So Ava, how did you and Angel meet?" Fred politely inquires her voice excited.  
  
" Well, I was nineteen. I was attending college. Every night I worked at the campus bookstore. One night, it was my turn to close up and I was walking home alone. A strachi demon attacked me, and Angel jumped out of the shadows to save me. We talked, hit it off, and the next nine months of my life were awesome."  
  
I just stare. OK, now my feelings are hurt. The vampire is so dead. He can inform me of all his chillingly, gross, crimes, but he didn't think to tell me of a person that he spent nine months of his life with. A girl that obviously meant something to him?   
  
  
I look up, ready to release my inner bitchiness, and am greeted by only Fred and Gunn.  
  
" Where did they go?"  
  
Gunn laughs and just points at the dance floor.   
  
I can not believe it. Angel and Ava are dancing and not just any dancing, they're freak dancing! Angel's hands are plastered to her back and she is pressed up against him, her hips moving rhythmically against him. Her head is tilted back and she is peering into his eyes and he's laughing a blush creeping into his face. What's with that? He can't blush!  
  
" I can't believe he's dancing! Angel doesn't dance."  
  
Gunn places his hand on my shoulder, as I stand flabbergasted.  
  
" Barbie, he's dancing and man does he look like he's enjoying it."   
  
"That's a little too close! Look at them! His thing is touching her thing! And they're rubbing together."   
  
Gunn shoots me an impetuous smirk at my silly reaction. " There are clothes between them you know, its not like they're doing it right out on the dance floor. Man, that would be a funny sight!"  
  
I just ignore him and stalk back to our table. Fred stares after me and leans over to Gunn, " What's wrong with Cordy?"  
  
" That, Fred, is a little thing called Jealousy."  
  
" No Gunn, I think it's a little thing called kyerumption." Fred shyly corrects him, a wide smile on her face, and a knowing look in her eyes.   
  
" Hey guys!" Angel comes up to them and slaps Gunn on the back. Angel grabs Ava's hand and pulls her back towards our table. I just stare at them, my arms crossed and a stormy look present in my eyes. Angel shoots me a concerned look before he sits back down.  
  
I manage to shoot him a timid smile. Although, it takes all of my inner strength to even look at the bastard. He smiles back at me, relief evident on his face.   
  
Gunn starts to speak and you can tell that the large amount of alcohol he consumed is taking a toll on him. " So how about a game of truth?"  
  
This sounds like a good idea to me. " Yeah, how about it?" I want to know as much about this vampire leech as I can.  
  
Ava nods enthusiastically and Angel looks a little hesitant, but he nods his head.   
  
" First question! Where is the wildest place that you have ever had sex in?  
  
I scoff at the question and take a long sip of my drink. Angel can't have sex; he would lose his soul. Gunn gets even more foolish when he drinks.  
  
" On a college professors desk!" I gasp as they simultaneously answer.   
  
They both giggle and Ava grabs Angel's hand.   
  
Oh my god, I want to purge. The gross bile is creeping up in my throat! Look out Bitch, I'm aiming for you!  
  
" You remember?" Angel asks in amazement.  
  
" Of course I do. How could I ever forget that!" Ava laughs, her perky voice echoing in my ears giving me an excruciating headache.   
  
Gunn looks interested at their answer. " Whoa! Care to explain?"   
  
  
I glare at Gunn and then turn my head sharply to peer at Ava.  
  
" Yeah! Care to explain"  
  
She fails to notice the stingy tone of my voice and just flips her annoyingly perfect hair behind her head before replying innocently,  
  
" Well, one day I was in my professors office. He wanted to discuss my paper on mythology. We discussed the paper for about an hour and then he decided to hit on me. He made a pass at me and I proceeded to kick his ass!"   
  
Ava's proud voice rang in my ears. Gunn reaches over and slaps her hand almost dropping his beer,  
  
" You go girl!"  
  
" Thanks. Anyway, I really kicked his ass. He ran out of the office terrified of me and I called Angel. He came to pick me and I waited in the office. When he saw me, we basically mauled each other and made wild passionate love on the desk. That is until the janitor walked in on us. But that's another story."  
  
Angel grins sheepishly as Gunn shoots him a pensive look. Fred has the decency to look embarrassed and I just sit there a stony look on my face. Is it possible to hate someone so much, when I just met them? Angel needs to be careful. She's mooning at him with those big eyes and the last time I saw someone looking at him like that he became a leather-bearing psycho. Never mind, why does this bother me? As long as Angel doesn't get too happy, everything is fine! Oh god, I'm lying to myself. I, Cordelia Chase, am in love with Angel. Me, the girl who ridiculed Buffy for dating Angel has turned all hypocritical. I love that sexy, broody, irritating vamp. I love him with every ounce of devotion in my body. Unfortunately, he only sees me as Cordy the vision girl. With that Buffy wannabee fawning all over him, the chances of him seeing me as anything else are slim.  
  
" Cordy?"  
  
" Huh?" I snap out of my daze and look up at Angel.  
  
" I'm going to drive Ava home. Ride home with Gunn and Fred OK?"  
  
Ava shoots me a bright smile as Angel slips his masculine arm around her tiny waist.   
  
" Whatever Angel. Do as you please." My words come out harsh and abruptly. I stare daggers at Angel and brush past him, ignoring the wounded and baffled expression on his face.   
  
" Dennis open the Damn door!" I pound on my front door after being dropped off by Fred and Gunn. After a tedious drive home, with Gunn shooting presumptuous looks in the rearview mirror, and Fred continuously turning around and patting me on the leg saying, " Don't worry! Kyerumption never fails!" I just rolled my eyes and reassured Fred that I was fine. What the hell is kyerumption anyway?  
  
***********   
  
' Dennis! What's wrong with you?" I cease my pounding on the door as an article of paper is suspended through the mail slot. I quickly read it before changing my voice to a gentler tone,  
  
" Dennis? I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I forgot to tape Dawson's Creek. We'll catch it on reruns. Will you please let me in now? I forgot my key."  
  
I release a deep sigh as the door is opened. I rush inside and into my bedroom quickly slipping on my pajamas before entering my bed. I look up at the ceiling and promise to tell Dennis about my evening tomorrow. As I lay my head on my pillow and drift into slumber, I wonder. How can I face Angel tomorrow? I was a total bitch today and he is going to be furious at me. Hopefully we'll never see Ava again, and I can apologize and everything will be OK.  
  
  
  
  
Tap Tap Tap "  
  
Angel" I call out, standing in front of his closed door, an offering of delicious, fresh blood in my right hand. " Angel?"  
  
I sigh as I realize that he is probably still asleep. Should I go in? He does sleep in the nude, but he'll probably be covered up in those silky smooth sheets, his muscular toned body.....Stop Cordelia! Stop thinking about a naked Angel! Well I might as well go in. Placing a glistening beam on my face, I push open the door and step forward into the room.  
  
" Oh my God!" My voice comes out in a rasping whisper as I take in the scene before me. My eyes flood with an ambush of tears that threaten to fall as I grimace at the disheartening spectacle.  
  
Angel lay in the bed, his naked form wrapped around an equally unclad Ava. Her fair, wavering hair, lay across his chest, The silk sheets dip around them, giving me a view of their disrobed, sweaty bodies. A slight beam graces their lips and I stifle a tormenting sob as Angel shifts away from Ava, and then in his sleep thinks otherwise, and wraps his arms once again around her diminutive, yet well developed torso. I rub my eyes, probably smearing my mascara, hoping that the scene before me would vanish. I clutch the satchel of blood and turn to leave, but not before receiving one last glance of the man I desire, in bed with another.  
  
I scurry out of the room and down the stairs into the lobby. I throw the bag of blood that I hold in my hand, at the lobby wall with a cry of anguish. I sink to my knees ignoring the pain that runs through my body when they slam against the ground. My tears fall and I watch the deep red liquid seep slowly down the wall, forming red droplets as it drips to the floor.  
  
" Why? Why?" My voice comes out in a distressed tone. My voice is loud, yet it doesn't disturb the couple above me. Why do I deserve this? Every day, I suffer through pain filled visions for him! For him and this damn mission. A damn mission that he has to full fill because he used to be evil!   
  
" Shit!" As recognition seeps into my voice I realize that Angel just slept with someone. A big no no in the happy book. I jump off of my knees, grabbing a stake off of the counter. I run up the steps, determination present in my walk. Angelus will not kill anyone that I love. I'll kill him before he has the chance to hurt anyone. Well, maybe he can tear off Ava's head and then proceed to disembowel her, but no one that I actually like!  
  
As I reach the top of the staircase, I don't hesitate as I stalk into Angelus's room. I quickly reach the side of the bed that he is on and with no uncertainty, I slam the stake down onto Angelus's chest, the wooden spike grazing his skin. His eyes shoot open in a panic and he looks up at me, alarm visible in his expression.  
  
" Cordy! What the hell is going on?"  
  
At the sound of Angelus's voice, Ava sits up rubbing her eyes. I caution her without moving my eyes away from Angelus's lingering gaze.  
  
" Get out of the bed Ava. Walk downstairs and call Fred and Gunn."  
  
To my disbelief the little twit just sits there, an amusing smile lingering on her lips.   
  
" Cordelia! I'm not Angelus!"  
  
I whip my head back towards Angelus at his words.   
  
" Liar! I don't fall for those games Angelus. Now shut up! Or I will stake you, trust me I will! You had the big happy! Of course you're evil!"  
  
Angelus just shakes his head and winces as I dig the stake closer to the surface of his skin. He looks up at me with mournful eyes,  
  
" Cordelia Chase, I am Angel. Your best friend, sleuth worthy, broody, vampire. Now move the stake away from my chest, so I can explain."  
  
I contemplate his proposal. If he makes a move, then he kills me. He can overpower me anyway. If I'm gonna die, I might as well let him run his mouth for a while.  
  
As I nod my head in acceptance, Ava grabs the sheet off the bed and wraps it around her. She walks quietly to the bathroom.  
  
" I'll just leave you two alone."  
  
I give her an impatient look, and wave my hand gesturing for her to go away. I sit in the chair nearest to Angel and sit back prepared to hear the worst.  
  
" Cordelia, there is something you need to know. This is not the first time that Ava and me have had sex. When we dated, we had sex all the time.  
  
I grunt, " OK, so not needing to hear this."   
  
Angel continues without moving from his position on the bed.  
  
" I never knew of the perfect happiness clause until Buffy. Sex isn't always perfect happiness. Yes, it might be pleasuring, but its not always joy producing. With Buffy, it wasn't sex, it was making love. I experienced true delight because I was with a woman that I loved with my whole heart and soul, unconditionally. A woman who made me lose myself in her. A woman who made me forget all my problems and swim in her beauty. Now for the last time, I am not Angelus."  
  
I can feel my eyes grow wide in humiliation and I feel a blush creeping up into my cheeks,   
  
" OOPS!"   
  
" Is that all you have to say Cordelia? OOPS? Don't you trust me? Don't you know me? I would never sacrifice my soul again. You're my best friend, you're supposed to believe in me. What's wrong with you? Yesterday, you were rude and inconsiderate. You treated Ava with no respect and me with little trust. That's not the type of friendship that I thought we had Cordelia!" Angel's voice rings  
in my ears as his angry words register in my mind.  
  
" I'm sorry Angel! What was I supposed to believe. Last time you slept with someone, you killed Ms. Calendar. How was I supposed to know that it wouldn't happen again?"  
  
Angel's furious expression began to change into one of sorrow. He stepped up, invading my personal bubble. So close that I could feel the unnecessary breath that he was expelling,  
  
" I'm leaving now Cordelia. I need to cool off. Maybe when I come back, we can both talk about this rationally."  
  
He turns and walks to the door and pauses one last time to shoot me a piercing stare before leaving, and slamming the door behind him.  
  
  
I can't believe I did that! Not only is my heart broken into freaking pieces, but I also pissed Angel off."  
  
"Cordelia?"  
  
That annoyingly perfect voice once again breaks into my thoughts!  
  
" What?"  
  
" Cordelia, I think you and I need to have a talk." I look up to see Ava staring down at me, her hair wet from the shower, her pretty face free of makeup.  
  
" Sure Ava. Why not!" I fake enthusiasm in my voice and lean back in my chair as she takes a seat on the bed. I watch her as she runs a finger through her hair, obviously nervous.  
  
" Angel and I are just friends"  
  
Humph! " That's not what "friends" usually do!"  
  
Ava shoots me a glare and motions for me to be quiet and let her finish.  
  
" When, I saw Angel yesterday, my heart leaped at the prospect of being with him again. He didn't know it, but during those nine months of our relationship, I had fallen in love. Maybe it was purely lust, whatever you want to call it I was in. It soon became clear to me yesterday, that I had no chance of being with him. His heart was already possessed."  
  
" Yeah by Buffy" I sadly acknowledge.  
  
" No Cordelia, Ava leans in her wavy hair falling into her eyes. By you"  
  
I gasp and chuckle " Yeah right! That's a good one. Well I don't like whatever kind of mind game you are playing."  
  
" Cordelia, I'm not lying or playing any kind of game. She pauses and stammers, He loves you. When we were dancing he was imagining it was you. He told me that last night when we were in the car. He told me that he didn't want to lead me on because his heart wasn't free. Even though you didn't feel the same way, he couldn't use me like that."  
  
I decide to interrupt, my heart actually going out to the young woman. As mine races with joy, I question her, uncertainty noticeable in my voice, " Well, if that's true, why did I find you two in bed together?"  
  
Ava sighs her vivid eyes growing tired, she replies in a weary voice, " We both needed comfort. I, myself was grasping at straws, but Angel was upset. Upset at the way you treated him and upset on how you didn't return the feelings."  
  
I jump up and grab her hands, shaking them up and down, " So, it was comfort sex? That's it?"  
  
A small smile graces her lips, " Yes, it was purely comfort sex"  
  
" Thanks Ava!" I shoot her a smile before turning to race towards the door. I pause and look back at the young woman sitting on the bed.  
  
" Ava? I am sorry. You know, For everything."  
  
" I know Cordelia, I know"  
  
***********  
  
" Angel! Angel!" I jog down the stairs, my heels tapping against the deep mahogany carpet. I can feel my skirt swirling around me, but I ignore it. I stop as I notice Angel scrubbing at the blood that I had thrown at the wall. He's furiously rubbing at it, a frown on his face. He turns around as he hears me enter.  
  
" You know Angel, you could lick it off the wall. It might be easier." I joke hoping to lighten the situation with humor.  
  
  
" Cordelia, I'm not angry anymore. I'm just confused. I need to know what is going on with us." He calmly explains bewilderment creeping into his voice.  
  
Breathe Cordelia, Breathe. Tell the vampire that you're in love with him and that you want to be with him. Tell him that you were so jealous that you were blinded and that all you wanted to do was rip Ava's hair out, strand by strand.  
  
I know what I want to say, but it doesn't come out,  
  
" I don't know Angel, you tell me!" I retort.  
  
Angel grabs my hands and leads me over to the couch; " I haven't seen this side of you since Sunnydale. For the past day, you have acted like a conniving little brat. Somebody that I thought you had buried, amongst all those old memories. I suppose I was wrong."  
  
" I have changed!" is my rebuttal.   
  
Angel peers at me; his dark sexy eyes making my legs feel like jelly and a tingling sensation to move up my spine.  
  
" Then why are you acting like this?" he asks in a tense voice.  
  
" Because I was jealous!"  
  
Angel drops my hand so that he can run his fingers through his hair.   
  
" What?" He inquires uncertainly.   
  
I release a deep sigh and clench my hands together as I prepare to make my confession, hoping that Ava wasn't lying and that he does return my feelings.   
  
" I'm in love with you. Angel I…"  
  
I'm interrupted as he wraps his arms around me and the momentum of his body crashing down on me sends us both flying backwards, further into the couch. I smile, my head pressing into his chest and I whisper in a muffled voice,  
  
" Angel? I can't breathe"  
  
  
He releases me and stares at me, longing and love evident in his eyes. As we both gaze at each other, I make the first move, leaning in and capturing his lips with mine. He relaxes and wraps his arms around me, his hands lying on the small of my back. He groans as our soft little pecks end, and I part my lips, and allow him to enter.   
  
As we lay there, both entranced in each other, he doesn't notice the tiny blonde woman, escaping out the door, pausing once, only to wink at me, a rueful smile gracing her lips


End file.
